RetroBot.ca

Moved on.

baconrobots@gmail.com (devo) — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 18:46:00 +0000

You can find me at Retrobot.ca now!

Year of Do.

baconrobots@gmail.com (devo) — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 23:58:00 +0000

2009, as the subject says, seems to be the "Year of Do."

Long I've gone on about planning to do many things. And more than just what should I eat for supper tonight. I'm talking bigger, more important things. Like, what should I eat for breakfast.

I joke, the answer is totally bacon.

For starters, I've been talking about having another spaghetti night since the last one which, for those keeping score at home, is well over three years ago now. I'm not always the fastest, but I get there eventually.

Sunday's the big day. I'm going to be surrounded by adults and kids and kid-like adults, with lots of spaghetti to go around. On the day before, with grubby list in hand, I went to the grocery store to get all the supplies. Garlic, good, peppers, got them, lots of mushrooms, parmesan, asiago, onions and so on. Then I came to the ground beef, of which I needed 1.5lbs. Or, at least that's what I wrote down. Don't be surprised if there's a later update titled "What was I thinking?". Actually, that's bound to come up regardless.

However, I'm in Canada and all the meat — every last little bit — was measured solely in kilograms. Which, without my computer, is pretty useless to me.

I could just pick a medium-sized package and hoped for the best. Maybe make a half- or double-batch as needed. Maybe even a quadruple-batch. Meatballs are pretty tasty after all. I even found a package that I thought would make a good amount of meatballs for all involved. But no, for some reason I get it in my head that I wrote on that grubby (it's been carried around a bit all day) list that I only need 1.5lbs, and that's what I'm going to buy.

Thus begins my next task. Walking up and down the aisles looking for anything, anything at all, measured by weight in both pounds and kilograms. An international package of imperial and metric proportions is all I need. Ridiculous, I know. Naturally I went straight for the turkey's. Easter, for those that haven't seen the chocolate eggs exploding across the stores, is quickly approaching and I've got turkey on the mind. But no, they were listed in kilograms only. And of the evil pre-stuffed variety I might add. Moving along, the hams and chickens were equally useless, though I'm sure quite tasty. But then I found it. My rosetta stone. It was so important I completely forget what it was. All I know is that it weighed 10lbs/4.5kg. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

I marched back to the ground meat section and promptly picked up the package I'd originally picked out.

It was more than 1.5lbs.

I didn't care. I decided I wanted more meatballs.

My pointless conversation.

baconrobots@gmail.com (devo) — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 20:18:00 +0000

A couple of days ago, I created a new yahoo mail account under the guise of Franz Diefendorf and, I must say, I'm pretty proud of that name. It's a good, strong, foreign name. Might even name my future dog Franz Diefendorf.

For a bit of fun, I emailed back Irina from my new account, she did sound pretty nice for a tramp after all.

First day came and went and I didn't think anything of it. Second day and third day still nothing. What kind of spammer is this that doesn't even respond when prompted? A bad spammer, that's who. Clearly she's doesn't like Germans.

On the fourth day however:

Hello Franz!!!
Thank you for your letter.
I want to tell you something about myself in this letter.
My name is Irina. I live in Ukraine. In Kiev city.
My height is 170cm. I dont have children. I am feminine and tender inside of my heart.
I like a home comfort, warmth and calm in family relation.
I was born on 28 of February in 1982.
In 1999 I finished the school. Studying 5 years I finished the university.
I learnt English at the university.
I work as nurse as it is difficult to find the job of my speciality.
I live one. I write from cyber cafe, as I dont have a telephone at home.
Write me more about you.
What do you like? Have you got a family?
Children? What is your job? Do you like nature?
Have you got pets? Can you send your pictures?
I am waiting for your letter.

Irina.

Success! We have contact. Barely.

So I wrote back:

Hello Irina,

I'm very sorry.
I thought we had something special.
But my friends tell me you've been emailing them too.
I'm very hurt and sad now.

Franz.

Sadly. She responded with the same-style email and ignored my concerns. I thought she was caring and tender on the inside of her heart?

Such hopes for comedic triumph dashed. Next time I'll find a better spammer to engage in a conversation with.

-d

Oh, you again.

baconrobots@gmail.com (devo) — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 20:24:00 +0000

I don't know about anyone else, but lately I've been getting a lot of spam from various people for this "Irina Ginsburg." The message is always the same:

"Hello ! My name is Irina Ginsburg. Soon i will be 27 years old. I am single girl and never be married before. I do not have children but I love children very much.

If you want to correspond with me too, my e-mail is: iren1nice@gmail.com
Irina"

I also receive the Dictionary.com Word of the Day, which, on more than one occasion, has been surprisingly relative. For instance, the day I got my new bed, theWord of the Day was "abed".

Today's word, in conjunction with yet another email for Irina is "interminable".

Somehow, I don't think this is the last I'll be hearing from Irina, though I'm sure "she's" very lovely.

I certainly like single girls that have never be married before.

Bigger and better.

baconrobots@gmail.com (devo) — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 22:40:00 +0000

I don't think he's ever been this large. Not sure if you can really tell, but at the highest point, he's actually got a few inches on me. While that's not really saying much, it's still pretty nifty.

2009 January - Pardon?

baconrobots@gmail.com (devo) — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 03:29:00 +0000

We all do it, see something out of the corner of our eye or just barely catch something said and horribly misunderstand what was actually said. A favorite of mine is when I heard someone say they couldn't come to the market because they had syphilis (it was actually sniffles).

So, each month, I hope to keep track of this and report to you, faithful reader, to laugh at me.

January 2009

"Pre-wormed" mixed greens do have a lot more protein than "pre-washed" ones.
Somehow, I'm sure Marlo the birthday girl was saying something about her "Thomas the Train" cake and not "Metallica"

Mission accomplished!

baconrobots@gmail.com (devo) — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 14:47:00 +0000

On Friday, as part of a super-busy weekend containing two art shows (though I missed one of them), two birthday parties (made it to both), meetings and a Wintersleep concert (okay, well, it sounded busy to me), I went to one of the art shows.

The original plan was to go with a friend who had to bail on me that morning and, failing to find anyone else, I decided to follow a piece of the vast amount of advice I've been given, which is to start going to events on my own. Apparently, as they tell me, Newfoundlanders are very friendly and I'll meet lots of people in no time. Seems reasonable enough and I really did want to see the tilt-shift photography.

So I went, walked around, looked at the pictures (there's an amazing one of diggers at a construction site) and walked around some more. People showed up, saw their friends and talked and talked.

In the end, one person did talk to me with the precise words of "Four dollars please" and then I walked off with my beer. Mission accomplished!

-devo

PS — No comments about how just once doesn't count, how I should stop being negative or anything of the sort! Can't a guy make a joke at the expense of himself? Sheesh!

Everything?

baconrobots@gmail.com (devo) — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 21:49:00 +0000

Setting the way-back machine to January 15th, just hours before my departure from Halifax for St. John's, Dad, Judy, Simon and I went out for a quick meal at a new place out in Eastern Passage called The Alehouse. Or something like that. The details are a little fuzzy. I mean, that was a long time ago.

Now, none of us had ever been there so we didn't know what to expect, and that's pretty much what we got. The most remarkable thing was the menu, written on a chalk board next to the bar. Nachos, wings and chili. For those counting, that's a total of three items (with rumors of a chowder every second weekend).

I know it's hard to believe, but between the four of us, we sampled the entire menu.

-devo

PS — stay tuned for a new feature at the end of the month and the return of a friend!

not dead yet

baconrobots@gmail.com (devo) — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 00:58:00 +0000

I'm in the process of editing a few photos and the computer brought up the usual cantankerous warning message "Are you sure you want to open 30 items" with the typical computer yes/no answer to either okay it or cancel entirely.

But where's the happy middle ground? What if I'm not sure I want to open 30 items but want to open them regardless of the possible danger? Maybe I'd like to try it, see what happens, live on the edge of my seat in taut suspense as each photo slowly opens.

But no, just boring, uneventful "Okay" or "Cancel". What a let down.

Surely this is all that's wrong with computers.

-devo

PS — I'm not dead.

seemed funnier then

baconrobots@gmail.com (devo) — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 01:27:00 +0000

On Sunday, squeezed in between pie and conjuring a website out of Adobe Flash, I managed to make it to an event organized by FEASt (Food Education Action - St. John's). They're a local group dedicated to education of food issues and there's a bit of a partnership between them and the St. John's Farmers' Market (big surprise, eh?).

From my vantage point, which happened to be a large crash matt, which, conveniently also happened to be the largest and most comfortable object around for me to half-nap on, I saw a lot of familiar faces. There's a bit of a crossover between market people and FEASt people. Actually, I believe all of them were regulars of the market.

Anyway, one of these happened to be the son of the Waffle Lady, Simon, who also happens to frequent my booth and brought up this small but cute exchange.

Simon: Devon, can I have some egg nog?

Me (looking up at him from the crash matt): I'm not selling any egg nog.

Simon: What are you selling then?

It seemed funnier at the time.

that time of year

baconrobots@gmail.com (devo) — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 13:49:00 +0000

November is a bit of a funny month, isn't it? The whole thing feels like one long gossip-fest, with everyone talking about one thing: Christmas and how it is far too early.

We all know the conversations, invariably going on the same sort of theme:

Scrooge: My neighbor has their tree up already! Bah!

Grinch: Oh yeah? My neighbor's tree is three sizes larger and been up since the first!

Some Guy: Like, this guy I know, he tells me that he knows a friend that knows of a guy that didn't even take it down from last year, eh?

And usually it quickly deteriorates into the familiar discussion about malls parading Santa Claus around on a stick since August.

But today is the first of December.

No longer can we complain about it being too early, it is, by popular vote, officially Christmas season.

Yay! Bring on the brandy-filled chocolates, rum and eggnog and cookies!

rescue me please

baconrobots@gmail.com (devo) — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 16:14:00 +0000

Way back in '98 I used to play a game called "Rescue!" back on my Performa 5200CD — which, really, was an iMac, except it was called a Performa and came out several years before the iMac did. I say precursor. Anyway, it did have the same all-in-one concept going for it. Also featured a robust 75 MHz processor, 8 MB of ram (later upgraded at an atrocious expense to 40 MB — about $10 per MB back then) and an 800 MB hard drive. Not to mention a floppy and a CD drive. I think my brother still has it working now, though as a computer or oversized paper weight is up for debate.

So, late last night I came across this game in an old mac game archive and had to play it again. Ten years, however, is a long time and a lot of things have changed.

Which brings us to:

Step One:
After a bit of searching I found a Classic Mac emulator, so I can relive the glory days of 1998 Mac computing. To add to the nostalgia, I contemplated wearing a wig, taking out the contacts and putting my glasses back on (still using the same pair from '98 and probably time for a new set).

Step Two:
Installation. Nothing funny happened here. Sadly.

Step Three:
It actually launched and worked. I was running an Operating System I hadn't seen in years. And it even recognized my files. So off browsing I went through the users folder, then my folder and the download folder, only to find nothing.
Well, that is to say, everything but the game. The files above? Yes. Below? There. Rescue!? No, of course not. Can't make things too easy, can we? The file was nowhere to be seen.

Step Four:
Alright then, maybe it's just being silly. Lets rename it with the non-emulated system to just "Rescue" and see if that works. Nope, nothing still.

Step Five:
Alright then, that's okay. Let's try moving it to the Desktop and see if it'll see it after that. Nope.

Step Six:
Still okay, just strange. Let's try making a new folder and see if that shows up. I called it "Res" and it did, indeed, show up. Below it? Certainly not Rescue. No, never.

Step Seven:
Secure myself a drink. That I can find without the aid of computers.

Step Eight:
Lets try moving the contents of "Rescue" into "Res" and just maybe that'll trick it into working.

Success!

Step Nine:
Open "Rescue! 2.0.5" and get ready to rescue (clever title, eh?) some colonists!

And then I get this error:

It is an application you dolt! I can't open an application with an application. Where's the "Open Anyways" key? Where's the bit where it gives me a gleaming bit of hope so that I think I can actually trick it into doing what I want it do and then it snatches it away? Oh, right, that was it.

Step Ten:
Of course, it's me and I'm a tad tenacious when it comes to things like this.
I contemplate downloading ResEdit 2.1.3, cracking open "Rescue! 2.0.5" and telling it that it's an application forcibly but I figure I'd get the same error about ResEdit 2.1.3. I'm not sure how I'd react to the application to fix the application that doesn't know it's an application, needing to be told it's an application. Badly I would assume at pure, unadulterated, concentrated evil irony like that.

Instead, I shut down the emulation program, opened up the disk image (think virtual disk on a disk, make believe, uh, if you're with me so far, just trust me on this one) and dropped the Rescue folder it did recognize into the application folder.

Close the disk image.

Start up Mac OS System 9 again.

Wait.

Browse to Application, Rescue and double-click on "Rescue! 2.0.5".

It worked! Imagine that. Something that seems so arbitrary working like that.

I happily played two games before getting too tired and needing to sleep. Also, it ran faster on the Performa 5200CD.

push broom?

baconrobots@gmail.com (devo) — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 16:00:00 +0000

Seemed like it'd be a good time to put up another update about this and, I must admit, it holds a fair bit more than I thought it would. Having not found any 48 inch tall books, I decided to put the tall piece on it's side. Kind of makes sense, doesn't it?

But, apparently I'm not a very good Tetris player — I don't even remember a push broom piece.

Sadly, the project itself is pretty much dead as I just don't have the tools required to do it properly. These pieces don't fit together all that well and don't even get me started on the other two pieces, the "s" and "t". Not even Dr. Frankenstein would be proud of them.

snow?

baconrobots@gmail.com (devo) — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 01:15:00 +0000

There have been a few varying reports coming in from the front about snow sightings here in St. John's. Most notably here.

Understandable, this has me as excited as a little puppy over nothing to the point of ending up on the floor in a tangle heap of legs and paws. Just like Heidi, a dog from when I was a kid that'd practically go into little fits as soon as we brought out her sweater so she could go outside and play. This level of hyper excitement, reserved for small dogs and kids that found the sugar bowl ten minutes before their parents found them, made it near impossible to get the sweater on that she was so excited about in the first place.

A fine, fine dog she was.

So. Snow? Here? I haven't seen it, but I'm still bloody excited for it.

PS — It's only a matter of time before He appears.

from a hike on sunday

baconrobots@gmail.com (devo) — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 14:36:00 +0000

Why do I keep finding this stuff, take pictures of it, and get odd looks?

Well, the latter is actually pretty self-explanatory really, isn't it. I do get strange looks from people fairly often it seems.

I also realize that I need a lens that does more than ƒ4.0 (for those that don't know, it's an aperture setting and the lower the number, say ƒ2 or ƒ1.8 would really blur the background, thus making the chair more of a center of focus).

better to just not ask

baconrobots@gmail.com (devo) — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 17:15:00 +0000

I managed to rescue this from my back pocked before the jeans got washed. These were my very sad directions to a Multi-Cultural Festival here in St. John's and personally, I'm a little amazed I made it myself. Particularly with the "???" street that wasn't listed in Google Maps. Apparently I also didn't think it was necessary to indicate which direction to turn or anything.

So really, it's best just not to ask me for directions to anywhere. Who knows what you'll get.

I'm betting lost though.

concerning toothbrushes

baconrobots@gmail.com (devo) — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 18:31:00 +0000

A very small part of the excitement of the trip I just took to Gros Morne was that I would finally get to use the new toothbrush holders I bought not that long ago. It would seem, for my entire life, the solution to taking a toothbrush while traveling was to wrap it in a facecloth. Which is all fine, but does seem a bit peculiar. Like I'm trying to disguise it as something with this silly bit of cloth wrapped around it's head. Try explaining that to airport security. "Oh, that? it's simply a suitcase ghost. Just ignore it and it'll go away on it's own."

This is, of course, quite fine on the way there but on more than one occasion, on the way home the last thing packed is the toothbrush. Meanwhile, the facecloth has somehow managed to find it's way to the bottom of the suitcase. And, after spending ten minutes you don't have trying to madly unpack your bag without really unpacking it (never works, does it, always ends up worse), you find that facecloth in amongst socks that have been worn one too many times and should be fumigated before even being washed. Or just thrown out altogether. As a result, you borrow a facecloth, promising to return it, and just add it to a growing collection of lost facecloths.

This is, of course, absurd and only a slight exaggeration. It only takes five minutes to get to the bottom of a suitcase.

So, bring on the plastic tubes.

Which, sadly, are too small for my toothbrush.

a scary halloween

baconrobots@gmail.com (devo) — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 01:43:00 +0000

On the drive back from Gros Morne, the idea of decorating my place for Hallowe'en with these guys somehow crept its way into my mind and was too good to pass up. Not only that, but it's been expanded to the St. John's Farmers' Market on Saturday (though they don't know it yet).

If you like them, the PDF can be grabbed here. Just print, cut and attach to any practical surface. I recommend trying your boyfriend/girlfriend/hamster.

PS — I'm pretty sure the Boo Buddies, and their retro-likeness are © Nintendo and are used without permission.

they do exist!

baconrobots@gmail.com (devo) — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 22:53:00 +0000

It's bigfoot, right? I mean, it is close to Halloween.

Just got back from Gros Morne and I'm pretty tired. Will have more later.

nothing but self-taught here

baconrobots@gmail.com (devo) — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 15:18:00 +0000

There's a new Instructional Video out in theaters now called "How to Lose Friends & Alienate People".

Seems like it might have some good lessons in it in case I ever need to alienate someone so I decided to contact a few friends and see who was interested. This brought on the usual barrage of emails back and forth asking about this night or that night. And so on and so forth. In the end, they've all become sadly unavailable. One, apparently, had to do something called "work" and another mentioned something about "last man alive" (which is strange, that movie isn't even in theaters).

Is it wrong to go see something called "How to Lose Friends & Alienate People" alone? I'm sure there's irony in there somewhere. Personally, I think it's rather hilarious.

Clearly this is like the Ring, except instead of causing people to die after watching the video, just making plans to see said movie will send them scattering.

up again, for now.

baconrobots@gmail.com (devo) — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 13:45:00 +0000

I've discovered, as has Alexa over the last little while that web stuff is a lot of mumbo-jumbo and about as convoluted as possible (up there with assembly instructions from Ikea — even the ones in your own language). The kind of deal where it'll only work on the third try, while on a laptop, in the kitchen standing on your toes. Oh, and only on Mondays. Don't even try on a Tuesday. Bad, bad things happen on Tuesday.

The challenging bit I found was getting the shiny new domain (RetroBot.ca) to display the blog. Sounds pretty simple right? Yeah, it does sound simple.

While there was no actual conversation between the servers and I, had there of been, it probably would have went something like this:

Me: I'd like you to display my blog.
Server: Oh, a blog eh? Fancy. We've got our own blog system you know.
Me: That's nice, I'd like you to display the blog I already have.
Server: You're sure? Ours is pretty fancy.
Me: Yes, I'm sure.
Server: Okay. I can't do that.
Me: Why not?
Server: No idea, probably something you did. User-error and all that. How about this hosting package instead? It's shiny, you like shiny right?
Me: uh, no thanks. So about that redirection to my blog?
Server: Yeah, today's not so good for me, come back Monday.

RetroBot.ca

baconrobots@gmail.com (devo) — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 14:40:00 +0000

I'm on the move to www.RetroBot.ca!

Course, it's not up yet, and I'm still working out some of the minor little details. But, if this page suddenly stops working one day (possibly tomorrow, or the next day — both of which are days), then that's where you can find me. Or, you can read some other absurd blog. I recommend a shiny new one starting up at www.RetroBot.ca. It's not up yet, but I assure you, it's being worked on by the finest robot monkeys.

I've also spend the morning listening to the John Cleese Podcast and finishing off sundry products. It's is now 12:17 (Newfoundland Time) and I'd like a sandwich followed by cookies.

-d

still classy

baconrobots@gmail.com (devo) — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 15:31:00 +0000

A week ago the Waffle Lady from the Farmers' Market was having a fundraising garage sale and my neighbor (Sarah) and I went for a visit. She got an amazing cow lamp (yes, it's the cutest non-edible cow that lights up) and I bought a chair. Since I've been doing the freelance thing I thought it was about time to get myself set up a bit more comfortably with a home office. Buying the chair resulted in a trip across town and the eventual purchase of a desk.

The chair, however, is still with the Waffle Lady, pending delivery.

So, for about five days I was using this, an upside-down laundry basket (the same basket that I grew up with my entire life. As I'm fond of saying, it's not retro, it actually is that old.

Thankfully, the same neighbor lent me one of their kitchen chairs in exchange for fresh lemonade. It's like a very strange prison barter system.

-d

fickle? me? never. maybe.

baconrobots@gmail.com (devo) — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 18:21:00 +0000

My memory, from time to time (apparently), can be a little on the non-cute fuzzy side. It's a bit of a problem at times. But I seem to recall a fellow student asking one of the teachers about tattoos. He attributed his lack of tattoo's to always changing his mind. To be permanently adorned with something has kept him from getting a tattoo. At least any that he's willing to tell students about of course.

Now, if this is completely wrong, well, you'll just have to change your stories. It's online now and that makes anything fact.

So, as a result, this blog will be changing yet again. It started innocently enough at theExperiment.ca/travel as a means for friends and family to keep in touch while I was forging a new life in Newfoundland. When that became a bit too much to manage by hand (and really I just got tired of looking at it), baconrobots (two things I love and the first Penny Arcade collection book) was born.

But now I'm thinking of taking it a step farther, still using blogger as a base but posting to my own domain. We'll see where it goes, but it should be a fun ride.

-d

return of retro

baconrobots@gmail.com (devo) — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 18:46:00 +0000

Not only did I finish this project, but I even planted something. That deserves a short of rum or something. Possibly cookies (which I did bake today — and even managed to bake them, but did have a bit too much raw cookie dough).

Apparently the plant (offspring of a plant I bought at the Farmers' Market) can't be killed. So no idea how that will factor in testing the records as viable pots for other plants, but as other people have done this, I'm quite sure it's fine. The other record is in the bathroom with my growing collection of gardening nicknacks waiting for more offspring to spread.

What can I mangle next?